Great Gravy Train Robbers Pardoned

channys6thswan

Lingers Long On Cank Street
August 1963
Mr Bruce Reynolds has today been sensationally pardoned by the British football media for his involvement in the attempted Great Gravy Train robbery that took place this weekend. He and his co-conspirators had attempted to gain complete control of the largest pile of cash anyone has ever seen, which would have destroyed the National Game in the process. Speaking on the deck of the heavily listing Titanic, before he finally jumped off, Mr Reynolds said that he took full responsibility for the unnecessary negativity around the attempted robbery, and went on to express his deep sorrow that the Titanic was now sinking. ‘We weren’t listening then’ added the Gravy Train spokesman, Mr American Pie. ‘We’re not listening still, and perhaps we never will’.
 
Feel a bit sad for Woodward...it is one thing to be a despicable, morally-bankrupt cunt of an individual hated by your own fans and the fans of every other club in the land...but to get a personal statement of approval and appreciation from the Glazers is rather like having your leaving card signed by Satan.
 
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